Wednesday, January 16, 2013

What's in a Year

A year ago today I was preparing for breast surgery.  I thought it was a really big deal and I was scared.  It wasn't cancer, but losing a boob chunk is never a party.
A year ago tomorrow you could have taken both of 'em and all of my limbs along with and I wouldn't have cared.  Because a year ago tomorrow was the day my grandmother died.
As I write that sentence all I can think of is finding any adjective, any word in the dictionary to accurately describe her and who she was to our family.  To me.  Or the loss we felt and still feel.
The day after she passed, I had the surgery.  The day after that, I got on a plane to be with my family.  The day after that, my father in law had a heart attack (which he has recovered from beautifully).
It was a really, REALLY bad week.
And it was a year ago.
Time is a funny thing...everything that's a big deal feels like forever ago and yesterday.  Isn't that weird?
My grandfather passed a few months later, and there are no words for that either.
Every day I struggle with the fact that I should have been a better granddaughter, that I should have let them know how much they mean to me.
I think of their sacrifices for our family, of their generosity, their humor, their love.  They watch over the shop now, you'll see their picture on a shelf above the front counter.
They built this shop of ours.  Not with their hands, but with the lesson their loss taught me.  Life isn't long enough, so live.
So everything I knew, I left behind to build this place with my family.
And every single day is hard, because that's the life of a hand to mouth small business owner.  And every single day is amazing, because that's the life of a small business owner that is lucky enough to know the people we do.  The amazing people we have met and have the pleasure of meeting.  People like you, and you, and you.
Thanks to my families and each and every one of you, this dream is alive.  This little shop in the middle of not much is still here and growing.  From my soul I thank you.
I could write a book of a thousand pages of what has transpired this year.  So many losses.  So much stress. Oh lord, a lot of work.  A lot of mistakes, a lot of victories, a lot of sleepless nights.  A lot of gratitude.
The support, friendships, kind words, and smiles are a blessing to me.  Every time, without fail.  You are the first warm day after a deep freeze.  Water in the desert.
So much has happened in 365 days.  That's what's in a year.  It started with loss, but look at what we've gained.
I am so grateful.


  1. You had quite a year - heartbreaking and happy, losses and gains. Congratulations on your wonderful shop and blog. I can't wait to come see your store, hopefully this year. In the meantime, enjoy yourself. And pat yourself on the back - you've earned it!!

  2. Congratulations for getting through it all, and may the next year reward you for all the lessons the past year put you through!

    Love you,